How to Use eHarmony

By Corbin HartwickUpdated on March 14, 2022

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This is a site that’s a little bit different than most. Unlike other online dating services, There is no “search” function, and you rely on eHarmony to gather matches for you. Some people will try to communicate with you, and you will want to start the communication with others.

This tutorial will show you how to communicate with others on the site. To learn more about the Guided Communication process, take a look at this tutorial.

eHarmony Home Page

When you sign into (, you’ll be directed to the homepage. To access it at anytime, click the eHarmony logo in the top left of the header.

Here you’ll be able to quickly view your timeline – a list of events in chronological order, from eHarmony’s blog posts to someone sending you a smile. You can filter what kind of updates you see by clicking the options across the top of the timeline.

  • All Updates shows you everything new, including dating tips and advice from eHarmony.
  • Messages shows you who has sent you any type of communication, from questions to “smiles.”
  • Visitors shows you who has seen your profile, even if they haven’t sent you any communication.
  • Profile Updates shows you who has changed the information in their profile.
  • Photo Updates shows you who has added or changed their photos.

Communicating with your Matches

To see your list of matches, click Matches at the top header.

Here you’ll be taken to a list of matches that have been found for you. If you want to see which of these matches is communicating with you, select Communicating With to filter your matches.

To go to someone’s profile, click their profile picture. As you can see, their main photo will take up most of the page, with a box in the corner outlining their basic information. Beside the info box are your communication options. Click the envelope if you want to send a message to them or respond to a message they’ve sent you. Click the face if you want to send a “smile” to show that you’re interested in them, but don’t know what to ask or say to them yet. If you have a paid account, you can click the photo to see their other pictures.

Below the box, you can click Previous Match or Next Match to view someone else, or click Block Match if you don’t want to see them again (see our eHarmony Matching tutorial for a more thorough explanation of this). Or, if you need more information about them in order to make your decision, click the arrow on the far side of the screen.

If you’re trying to communicate with someone who has already started the communication, click the Message Status button (i.e. the jumping envelope icon) and see what he or she has to say. Click on your responses, or click the text boxes and then type in what you want to say. When you’re done, click Next to send the message back to your match.

If you’re trying to communicate with someone who hasn’t yet communicated with you, you click the Message Status button too (i.e. the motionless envelope icon). You’ll be given six multiple-choice questions – choose five by clicking on the check boxes next to each of them to mark or unmark them. When you’re done click Send Questions.

Also notice at the top is your progress in eHarmony’s Guided Communication – it shows you how far along you are in their process for each person.

And that’s a quick tutorial of how to communicate with your matches on eHarmony!